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For Future Reference, This is How I Figure Out the Western Canon After a Few Beers
Q:What do you think students should be taught as far as literature and poetry go? [also something about The Canon which I do not remember]*
A:Why you even got to ask this question, like it’s a thing. Ain’t no answer to this question. Ain’t no end to it. This question is a trap like “what is love?” is a trap and we are not talking about no semi-parodically-understood ancient-of-days clubbing song, we are talking about it in all caps like What Is Love and Is There Free Will In The World and What Is The Point Of It All, You Know, Like Do I Mean Anything To Anyone. You and I could have some strong drinks in our hands and “rap” about these questions for an age and ain’t neither of us would decide nothing, we would just maybe on the morrow have headaches and really bad dry mouth and perhaps our wallets or purses would be much less healthily fat with the currencies of our lands.
Q:… [this represents silence]
A:What is sure about this for me is that you got to start with some good old Homer and Hesiod, dudes who were Greek back when being Greek meant carving pillars, pissing off Trojans and inventing the idea of "having opinions," instead of today when being Greek means being named "Nick Popodopopolakos" and having chunky faux-gold man-rings. Those cats talked about true life back when iron was like the internet is now: a thing that made old folks shake their heads and be like, “Nothing is the same as it was when we all got together and thought up wearin’ textiles do you know what I mean.” Those two wrote some righteous things about war and farming and human emotions, all of which are basically the same although today they got such as laser-guided corn and genetically modified sadness, don’t you know.
*:This was a question asked by isbrianna.tumblr.com, who characterizes the answer as "mildly terrifying." Thanks Brianna for giving me the opportunity to talk about my opinions. I like to have opinions in public.